i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
how does that bad decision feel?
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