I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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