I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize