Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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