But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
