So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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