if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
