It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
