lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
as a side note pls kill me
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
