I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize