I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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