WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
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what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
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I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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