do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I pour the whiskey from now on
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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