lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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