i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
