butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So much rum. So many feels.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
