You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
