i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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