I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
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Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
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It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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