She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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