She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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