Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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