Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Randomize
