I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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