and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
