then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
you had me at cake vodka
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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