why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
