do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
