Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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