break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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