using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
