I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
