yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just gargled with NyQuil