I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
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judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
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After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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