just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this