do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.