It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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