worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
