It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
