just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
