I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
