Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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