I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I need a beard to bite.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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