this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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