why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
