I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
