Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
