i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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