ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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