Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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