so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
