You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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