And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
