I wish i was in the wii world.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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