elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
