Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
