i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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