What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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