He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
