How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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