While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
