Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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