I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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