guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
