i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
